My external self is merely my emotional vulnerabilities conditioned to be stoic and ridiculous until its formed itself into a tough callous, only bleeding in the most hostile of circumstances.
Outside extreme,
inside serene,
not sure what was lost in between.
If i say to fix something,its because there is something i broke and never fixed and don't wish the same on you.
If i laugh at your shortcomings,
its not because i think it's funny but because vulnerability makes me ******* UNCOMFORTABLE.

I want you to know that when I push you away,
I'm hoping you'll care enough to pull me closer.
If you see me cry,
though I'll never ask you to,
please sit next to me because whatever was able to break me down must have been profound.

There's a calmness inside of me,
a kind of bliss that turns to chaos when i try to express it.
So if I tell you that you're beautiful,
savor it because it means that I felt so strongly about it,
my serenity was able to overpower my insecurity and inhibitions and reach the surface of my lips.
I may seem spastic on the outside but my peace of mind is real, its there, and it's fighting to make itself known.