You sat across from me with such happiness
I try to mimic your gladness
At this moment I'm so jealous
So wishing I wasn't callous

For I can't have your joyful feeling
Wounds constantly ripped open never healing
I try to match your smile as a tear forms in my eye
I divert my gaze I don't want you to see me cry
It's not fair to you
To always see my darkened hue

No one can stand my sadness
When they start to taste the madness
They all must go away, or the darkness settles in
Then I lose them to my greatest sin

©Pauline Russell