S, I'm sorry. I don't think you understand how horrible I feel. I just don't love you like that. I feel terrible. Because your such an amazing person, but we just don't work together. I like to take things slow where you like to try things out. I like to sit and have conversations with strangers where you like to sit and read a book. I like hanging out with my friends on the weekends where you like staying home playing video games. And it *****. Because I truly, deep down, deeply care about you. And you're so sweet and you make weird but hilarious comments and you're great to have around. Which made this so much harder. Because when I wanted to be friends I truly meant it. But I know that you're going to avoid me. It happens every time. So I'm Sorry that you lost the opportunity to become friends with me. I'm sorry that I hurt you, and I'll never admit to it but I ask all my friends that talk to you if you're okay. I'm sorry that you heard me talk for hours about my anime and my current music obsession. And I'm sorry that I have anxiety and depression and I disconnect sometimes, and i'm sorry that i have to be alone to reconnect. You're an amazing and beautiful human being and you deserve so much more than i could ever give you. Thank you for that Mulan marathon and pans of junk food we made. Thank you for making me life until I was crying. Thank you for you, for being your true authentic you. -H
I'm probably never going to give this to her. But I just needed to write it out somewhere. She'll never see this anyway