I skipped class along with pretty much everything else
that I probably really needed to get going to do today~

just to write this thing down, my terrible handwriting
writing intellectual notes with no luck involved, the more
my hand feels like cracking like the bricks of the walls
to the fence I lean on when I'm keen on a cigarette
still here, still here, still here, what words
go after still here, was it after all these days
was it after all these years, were there any second
chances involved or excuses as to why I'm still stuck
in this city hung up and being irresponsible
I'm having a meltdown, I'm writing words on a piece of paper
you'll never read this or the others I've written
being in a house miles and miles away from me
and my friends don't get it because they've never gone
through it, uphold the status quo and all that
proper weird, wired on coffee, sleepless nights
and I really don't want to throw a dress on and dance
with my friends tonight I'd just look pathetic now

what am I even writing right now