but there's been so many
different ways to love since
then, and they've never been
as gentle as I dreamed

and ever since then, near everything
has been a threat, a reminder that
As myself is not enough, this girl
These hands, these surly smiles
The way I dance, my naked wiles
I've willed myself to adjust
To fit what locks I can unlock

I melted down and poured me out
Filled the holes around the house,
Into votives in the halls, Mount me
Up along the walls, lined the porch
Out in the night beside your boots
I've flickered bright---

But that is not enough.


That is not enough.