Look what I’ve done. World, look at me. I am pretty. Accept me. Facebook like, love or whatever reaction cradle Me in your arms like my mother never did Tell me I matter. Kiss me under the stars just To prove to me that my dark past does not need To overshadow my flickering happiness. Let me breath you in just to prove that This yin and yang mystery can be real. Two hearts can synchronize.
Look what I’ve done. Mommy look at me past my disappointments Lover, look at me like I am the definition of perfection. Toy with my bleeding heart like a **** in a chess game. Dangle me. Make me feel whole and leave me empty. Make me realize that I keep loving “deep” statuses Because I find pieces of myself in them. I keep trying to find my voice because She ran away for me.
Look what I’ve done. Look at what I am. I am alive. I didn’t tap out. I survived. I faced my demons and won some battles. Lost more but I am here. Look at me burying those I love. I went out to hunt grief and before I left I dug two graves. One for my happiness and the other for my pain.
Look at what I have done. God look at me! Tell me why you never left A suicide note to explain why I became a monster The reason why you sent guardian angels to protect us because we break everything we touch. We hate happiness because it reminds us of something we can hold onto for a lifetime. Look at me. I hate death because She reminds me of regret and the I love you That I could have and should have said. The I am sorry and the tight hugs. A constant reminder that a beating heart Is sometimes life distilled to its purest form.
Look at what I’ve done. I became the human I promised to never become. The alcoholic my mother is. The abuser that was my father. My emotionless grandfather. My voiceless grandmother. The friend who ignores friends when They need me most because I am afraid they Wont reply to my 2am rants when I am confessing my dark secrets How will I ever forgive myself for the things I did not become? Look at me! Look at what I’ve done.