I'm tired of feeling like I was the one
Who didn't try hard enough to keep you
I kept crossing sidewalks to find you
I drove over bridges back and forth
Thinking that every time I'd pass over
I'd see your shadow standing at the edge
And thinking what it would be like if
My shadow was still there with you
I keep looking for you in the aisle of the thrift stores
Where you tried on old coats because
You used to say they made you feel wiser
I tried writing a letter to you the other day
And my hand went numb when I tried to explain
Why I had even picked up a pen in the first place
I tried ordering my tea without honey only to realize
You were always the sweetener
Someone asked me what it felt like to lose someone
I told them it's like the empty feeling in your chest
It's like moving into an abandoned house
It's like hearing your voice on their voicemail
100 times on repeat until your ears drown
From the lack of sleep in your voice
I sleep next to strangers hoping that maybe
Their shadows will fill the emptiness in my sheets
I walk through puddles to see my reflection
And remind myself that you were the one who
Didn't try hard enough to stick around
You won't drive over bridges to find me
Because you already burnt them down.