All was quiet at midnight
In the comfortable little house
Till Santa accidentally
Stepped on the dog's toy mouse.

The SQUEAK! sounded to Santa
As loud as a cannon boom!
He stopped in his tracks and waited
For silence to fill the room.

Carefully placing the presents
Under the Christmas tree,
He spied a plate of cookies
Next to a glass of Chablis.

Suddenly from the hallway
Came a little sound:
"Hold up your hands, Santa….
Now slowly turn around."

Complying with the order,
Santa turned. Behold!
Identical twins stood there--
Barely five years old.

Both were holding toy guns.
Santa all the while
Had to struggle to keep
From breaking out in a smile.

"We just saw you closing
Mommy and Daddy's door,"
Said one. "We want to know
What you were looking for."

"I had to make sure," said Santa,
"That they were fast asleep.
You know how our Mommies
Hear every little peep."

The boys squinted their eyes,
Not sure what to believe.
All they knew was that Santa
Wasn't the kind to deceive.

"I heard," said the other twin,
"From a friend of mine
That you like to drink milk;
But Daddy says you like wine."

Santa hesitated:
"Well…it depends on my mood.
Sometimes I like variety
Regarding my drink or my food."

The first asked, "Why are Santas--
The ones we see at the mall--
Big and round, but you
Look so skinny and small?"

"Santa works so hard
And he's up so very late,
By the time he is finished,
He's lost a lot of weight."

Santa mumbled softly,
"Will they buy that story,
Or am I going to sound
Trite and conciliatory?"

The dog came in from the hallway
Wagging his tail as though
He had been Santa's friend
From a long time ago.

"How does Sparky know you?"
Both boys asked, surprised.
"ALL pets love Santa,"
The wise man emphasized.

The twins were resolute,
And both remained suspicious.
"You know," said Santa wily,
"It wouldn't be judicious

"To keep detaining Santa.
He has lots to do.
Other kids are waiting
For presents, just like you."

"Ju-what?...Aw, never mind!"
Responded the second twin,
Coming around to realize
The hurry Santa was in.

"We hope we get what we asked for.
But one thing we want to make clear:
If all we get is clothes,
You'll be in trouble next year."

Santa winked and smiled.
"Deal!" he firmly said.
Now put down your weapons
And go back to bed."

While drifting off to sleep
In their beds shortly thereafter,
The two boys heard some mumbling
Accompanied by laughter.

They shot out of bed in the morning--
Slightly after dawn.
The first thing they noticed was
The wine and cookies were gone.

But glasses resembling their dad's
Had been left behind.
Their dad said he could wear them
If Santa didn't mind.

- by Bob B