It's not that I can't get things done
I can, clearly- I'm not failing school, I paste a smile on my face and have chatter with mom, I write poems-
It's just that the only things getting done are things with deadlines,
with fear of people knowing pushing me from behind

And when I can take charge of myself and
Do things I care about- learn about physics in the brain, stretch my muscles, prepare my future, be happy, write thousands of words of a story-
It takes such grit, such determined effort that
**** it, I'm going to make my own choices today

That I know it's only a matter of time before I once again begin to fade.