I want what I fear
Intimacy and cheer
even with those I'm near
my outside is not clear
I won't let them hear
my emotions, my tears
I glance and I leer
I want what I fear
drugs and beer
off road, won't steer
judgement of a peer
promises my dear
yeah I want what I fear
but my actions don't mirror
I'm mixed into this sphere
I wanna cut and sear
but everybody here I love
above all else so I promised not to hurt myself
When I stopped being so selfish at age 12
that promise I keep and hold deep
my loyalty to everybody
All of these things are mixed in my sea
I'll stray to only the good hopefully
cuz if I want one then I shan't do the others son
who loves without pain to someone who cuts
who can get into drugs with a smile
who can express themselves without judgment hitting tile
place these thoughts to a pile
and pick em out every once in awhile
appreciate life and my lifestyle
cuz there's nothing better than having somebody to dial
and people your willing to die over
I imagine kids, a man, I cooking on the stove and stir
now my neighbors aint abusers but who's here?
my fam and man look weird
shaded, crooked, faded, shooked man and I realize where my head gon and steered
into the future but I falsely peered
I teared while thinking realistically but **** it that's what I really want
tempts aint nothing but a taunt
if I give in then it'll haunt me and put a tint on my people's hearts
so back to the start,
I fear this but I'm young and apart with everything I want this part
without anymore **** to darken my future this fear is what I want and that's real art.