First I'm sorry there's no reason for my actions. All I can say is I did it and, and it made me happy it made me better. Nights filled with screams and pain. Days with the false impression of love and hope. Slowly I walk to a place of good just to feel.  Nothing I do from here out is your fault. Just know i am trying and I'm sorry, what I do next will be swift and easy.  Just one pull and it's done.