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Oct 2016
**** everything.
It hasn't even happened yet,
But I'm craving some drugs-
Anything to forget.
Because you know me,
And I know me,
And I don't cope,
All that easily.
Rejection is the worst.
So find me an old hearse
Because we both know
Where I'm gonna go.

So tonight I'll get high
For the very last time.
Tonight I'm gonna die
For the very first time.


I might be lazy,
But I don't wanna be idle.
Days like this remind me
Of being suicidal.
That tiny voice living
At the back of my mind,
Saying it'd be better
If I wasn't alive.
You know I don't believe
But today I wanna leave
Got some pain to relieve
And maybe I'm naive
But I need to escape
Yeah, I gotta get away
And I mean, it's not like
My life matters anyway

So tonight I'll get high
For the very last time.
Tonight I'm gonna die
For the very first time.


And well maybe I just need a drink
If it means that I don't have to think
Anything, anything
To not hear no from you
Because chances are that's what
You're going to do.
Why the **** did I even ask?
Is there still time to take it back?
We'll pretend it never happened
And my dreams won't get flattened.
But no, that's not an option.
I'll find a new addiction.
And I guess
I'll just have to settle
Something new,
Maybe it'll be fatal.

*So tonight I'll get high
For the very last time.
Tonight I'm gonna die
For the very first time.
Deanna
Written by
Deanna  Cambridge, MA
(Cambridge, MA)   
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