Her online dating profile said she was "Outdoorsy". She asked if I wanted to go camping. I told her, "No, I'm done camping." I spent enough years sleeping outside, and even more sleeping in the dirt. It wasn't all bad.
I got to sleep with the stars and wake up with the sun. once I woke up in the middle of a circle of deer. I opened my eyes and the fawn looked at me, and I smiled. She nodded at me, I swear to god she did. Then she nudged her little ones awake, and they went off to find another spot so I could get ready for the day.
I've encountered ghosts along the rivers, and thieves among their banks. I've never successfully started a fire without the aid of Gasoline, and it cost me the title of King of the Hobos one year. Even as a homeless guy, I was mediocre. I'm good at some things though. I have references, I told her.
The next day, she deleted me from her favorites list.