love is not
a thing
that gives
choices,
it just arrives,
takes you
destroys you.

it has done
nothing but
make a fool
out of me.

knocking me over,
gripping my
cold wretched heart
without mercy.

making me
irrational,
fierce,
defensive,
determined.

unable to
break the spell,
paralyzed by
absolutely ludicrous
beliefs.

-

i deleted all
the music
off my phone
because
storage was
scarce.

but in the dark,
in the rain,
cruising,
comes
sad song playlist
all by itself,
unsummoned,
pushed from
the clouds
back into
my mind,

my chest,
where i feel a
sudden tightening,
a deep,
wrenching
pain.

so i sit
in the driveway
and let it finish,

let the sadness
roll right
into me,
and eyes closed,
tearless,
i dreamt of you.