What do you know
Didn’t work out for you and Joe
What can I say
Did I mention he was gay
Still, what about you and Di
Brought a tear to a glass eye
It was your mum who asked the question
What’s a Bi ,,,,,
Had to laugh, my oh my
Still, these things are sent to try us
Sorry about Gus, and the bus
Just not fare, oops sorry, meant fair
Your mother tells me you’ve met the one
Drumroll please, he’s Japanese
Strange name though, Harry
Okay just got an update, Hara Kari
What are you doing with these guys, never mind Di
Your mum says its been a week with the Greek
I’m over the moon
Spoke too soon
Fell off his horse
Was it wooden
I’m hearing you’re in Finland with some geyser called Stan
Already I’m thinking, poor man
Okay, your mum’s going on about a bear
Now Stan’s no longer there
It’s a nightmare
Where will it end
What, you’ve found a friend
Setting a new trend
Well, now I feel at ease
You’re kidding, deadly disease
Your mum says you want to try again
O.M.G, have you gone insane
I’m heading for the hills
Taking pills
Throwing myself under a train
Missed the bus
Playing Russian roulette
Oh no, I've just realised
This is how it all begun
You've won.