He was beautiful but way too young for me.
I should have just walked away.
But God is no so kind to divorced women
close to the age of forty with a
lot of dissolutionment with modern urban life.
My husband cheated on me
with his secretary.
Tell me you haven't
heard that before.

I met him at a family get together.
a BBQ with awful food
and cheap wine.
it was his youth I think
it glowed like freedom.
So full of life.
All the emotions yet to happen.
Not all those that had already been.
He dumped his girlfriend
when he saw me.
I don't for the life of me know why.
She was pretty and perky
and so very young.
not like me at all.

He caught me looking at him
but I did not release my gaze.
That was cruel he was a just a boy
I found out later he was Twenty two
he gave me all I needed at that time.
All the things my rat ******* husband
had never given to me.

I admit I used him for his beauty
and his life that shone from him.
But I did not know
I was falling in love with him.
He undressed. me with his eyes ond smile.
I could not wait to undress for him.
My mother always so wise
said let him go honey it will end badly.
But I didn't.
He moved in to my urban nest.
The few hundred square feet
that was all mine
where the outside world ended.
After a while
I was miffed he did not have a job like I did.
That he sat around playing Nintendo all day.
But then he kissed me
and said I love you baby.
and I melted for him.

I got angry when he was drinking beer
with his friends
in my apartment.
When i got home from a hard day at work.
and I threw him out.

I told him he was never going to be what
I needed he was too young.
He moved into his buddy's place.
and called nme ten times a night.
Then I saw him again
it was in the local delli
I moved a can of caviar
and he was buying steaks
on the other side.

I took him home to my place
undressed as usual
he would not wear his ******.
He said I want you to have our baby.
I froze like a deer in the headlights.
I wish he had just ****** me.
All of a sudden
I saw his vulnerability
his youth his inexperience.
He was a baby and I was playing with him.
I knew it was a trap for him.
A trap I could not set.
so I opened the cage
the door left wide open.
and he flew out into
the wild rarified air
above the mountains.

I saw him again about a year later.
I was drinking wine at my favorite restraunt with a group
Of my friends.
It was near the holidays
The cold new York frost had formed on the window.
His breath melted a small section
Our eyes met and he he flashed his beautiful smile.
I caught my breath and my heart beat quickly..
But then he turned away.
And walked into the icy winter cold of the old city
Which had seen many such love stories before.