this was not supposed to happen.
you weren't supposed to notice.
you weren't supposed to grab my hand
you were supposed to flick it away like i wanted
i wanted you to hold it but you weren't supposed to
i wanted
you to pull me into your arms and for me to cry into them
but i wanted you to say i was annoying and that you wanted nothing to do with me
because at least then
there would be a black and white answer like i wanted but i got a rainbow of confusion and pulses and clammy hands and tears and hugs and a foggy mind just like i wanted
i wanted
you to do the opposite because now
i want
to know whats next and i don't know what it is yet
but you
want it and
i want it

so let's just for once
do exactly what we wanted to