how angry and totally alone I felt and
I wanted to write poetry and talk to her
and the seed of total despair had grew
into a demon a dragon a mountain
I saw no way to conquer
or climb
I wish I had a bud
a bud to take a **** of
to calm me like it usually does
but all I had was
hopelessness  like a whole field of
them in my dream
and I am paralyzed
reaching for my pipe
and it disappearing
so I reached in the fridge
drew out a too ripe
banana
and tried to smoke it
take my word, don't try it
and I saw
in the back corner
the farthest reaches , of my fridge, almost forgotten,
that mushroom growing on last week's salad-
I am tripping, now