Aug 2016
we ditched the main path and ran up the mountain bike trail,
gained some elevation,
we found the rusted remains of a car wreck off the side of the trail
that must have been sixty years old.
afterwards we shared nachos and modelo especial,
that was nice.
my body was wrapped in the warm pink blanket
rocking on the wicker chair as you
paced back and forth on the front of the porch and I
couldn’t hear the devil speaking from between your lips because my eyes were softly shut,
my being a blind cloud floating
softly in the nighttime cigarette smoke,
the part of me you were trying to hurt was the insides floated out,
just a cloud watching the clear night sky
and the cupid's arrows and the knives hurling
back and forth back and forth blew right through me,
because I was somewhere else.
but babe you are so sharp!
so I came back together to run inside and grab my pocket knife,
I sat down on the steps by the side of the porch where you couldn’t see me but you could
and sliced a dramatic **** on my right thigh
13 cm length 5 mm width
the blood flowed fantastically, unexpectedly fast dark and shocking, trickling down my leg
just like when you come inside me and I stand up.
I did it for the devil, and so you’d pause the devilry and take care of me
which you know how I like and which you did,
taking the blade from my hand putting an arm around me
examining and cleaning the wound
the blood staining your jeans
pooling wasted on the concrete.
later in the night I chucked the knife into the grass far away
where it remained neglected till the morning
when I came to collect it.
you fall asleep so fast in my bed baby, even when
the night’s been so bad, even when the
moon’s out full and the clouds blown all away
the devil floating softly ubiquitous.
you start to sweat softly and small twitches play across you
from the nightmares playing ubiquitous in your conscious unconscious
I watch you sleep and watch the sweat collect in droplets on your skin
thinking you look like a wet angel hoping you’ll never wake up
I wonder, do abusers learn from their abusers how to hurt?
the way you love baby the way you love it feels
a lot like hurt
gained some elevation,
we found the rusted remains of a car wreck off the side of the trail
that must have been sixty years old.
afterwards we shared nachos and modelo especial,
that was nice.
my body was wrapped in the warm pink blanket
rocking on the wicker chair as you
paced back and forth on the front of the porch and I
couldn’t hear the devil speaking from between your lips because my eyes were softly shut,
my being a blind cloud floating
softly in the nighttime cigarette smoke,
the part of me you were trying to hurt was the insides floated out,
just a cloud watching the clear night sky
and the cupid's arrows and the knives hurling
back and forth back and forth blew right through me,
because I was somewhere else.
but babe you are so sharp!
so I came back together to run inside and grab my pocket knife,
I sat down on the steps by the side of the porch where you couldn’t see me but you could
and sliced a dramatic **** on my right thigh
13 cm length 5 mm width
the blood flowed fantastically, unexpectedly fast dark and shocking, trickling down my leg
just like when you come inside me and I stand up.
I did it for the devil, and so you’d pause the devilry and take care of me
which you know how I like and which you did,
taking the blade from my hand putting an arm around me
examining and cleaning the wound
the blood staining your jeans
pooling wasted on the concrete.
later in the night I chucked the knife into the grass far away
where it remained neglected till the morning
when I came to collect it.
you fall asleep so fast in my bed baby, even when
the night’s been so bad, even when the
moon’s out full and the clouds blown all away
the devil floating softly ubiquitous.
you start to sweat softly and small twitches play across you
from the nightmares playing ubiquitous in your conscious unconscious
I watch you sleep and watch the sweat collect in droplets on your skin
thinking you look like a wet angel hoping you’ll never wake up
I wonder, do abusers learn from their abusers how to hurt?
the way you love baby the way you love it feels
a lot like hurt
