Do you want to know my pain? Would you like to know my bane? It isn't a big deal, I promise. Because I know that my life is bliss At least from the outside Inside I try to hide Can't measure how long I screamed or how many tears I've cried By such meaningless laws I must abide You worried once about me being alone Well it's something I haven't shown And you were right. I hate it. But I haven't shown my pain one bit Because others have rougher lives than me So why should I add on to the misery By trying to get people to see me? I feel so lost The heat is unbearable but I feel the chill of frost But why should you be concerned for me? I don't matter, don't you see? Here, kitty kitty Take care of mommy for me Make mommy happy Same with you, oh precious cursed ring Around another loved one's neck you swing Be sure to help her relax, soothingly you should sing And last comes the one I let go The one I messed up so long ago My first love with nothing to show And I've messed up All of them with liquid despair and no more than a drop But that's only a part of it. I feel as if I'm a puppet of the masses Their torture toy so everyone relaxes Laying on stone by stone Until I feel as if I bear too much and tears I can't postpone Then they stitch me back together and start all over again When will this cycle stop? How does it end? But please don't worry for me Don't feel sorry Don't give me pity Because then I'll feel guilty For making you unhappy Again and again In a cycle with no end So I'll do what I think is best I'll become a monster and let my fragile and shattered kind heart rest I'll still be nice from time to time But I'll stop being gentle when you commit against me grave crimes But I have it easy Compared to so many So I'll smile and be happy Because I'm fortunate to be me
I wrote this for the ones that I know won't see it. Zachary knows one of them, but the others are a mystery. This entire thing is dedicated to different groups of my friends at a time. I hope I don't inconvenience anybody.