I am so numb again
I am so numb and it scares me
It scares me because when i am numb, it means i am losing me
I am losing myself in the absence of feelings
I am losing the capability to be myself
It scares me because i do not want to be anyone else
I am left alone in my thoughts
I am left praying i can hold on
It scares me because i fear one day i will not be able to hold on
I am tired of reaching for someone who is not there
I am tired of feeling as if i have no one to rely on
It scares me because i do not handle loneliness well
I am searching for a familiar face
I am searching for a sign that i am still present
It scares me because what if i do not find me
I am not sure who i am during my depressed days
I am not sure if i like who i am during my depressed days
It scares me because if i don’t like me, then who will?
I don’t know.
I really don’t.