I want a bar
Where I can smoke a cigar
And not have it be a big deal

I want a bar
Where I can have Surf 'n' Turf
While I watch Hockey in May

I want a bar
Where you can have a bump
And not worry about the Po-Po

I want a bar
Where clothing is optional
And you can stretch out on a sofa

I want a bar
Where if the phone rings
I'm not here even if I am

I want a bar
Where I can run a tab
And when I've had enough they call me a cab