I.
i have a dream that you arrive.
you sit on my bed. i kiss you.
it feels like real life.
i say i missed you.

II.
then
here comes
the issue and you
decide to go. i drop to the floor,
say nothing while you walk right out the door.
(you say something vapid and deceitful about self-preservation)
i slowly lose my remaining supply of salvation.
i must hypnotize my heart in such a thick dimension
(it's a defense mechanism),
i somberly lucid dream you coming back
and to your senses
(you are not the only pretender, i suppose then).
i wake up with a tight throat and heavy chest;
just another subconscious quest, that simple.
my brain is tying itself in knots...
it'll all untangle, i figure
i never got closure.
this **** ******* lingers.

III.
i had longed for you since the day that i was born, i think.
no, i am sure of it.
your mind, the curve of your spine, your time
******* exquisite
wished you would visit
because then you could see
that you are all i see
when i see you i see me
is that a good thing or bad thing ya think?

life pitched me that fast ball, and i should have covered my bases:
i still am a child,
in that i lack a few vital years,
and perhaps i am a little bit wild...
but *******, i swear to it, i would give you my best
i am rolling like a rock
take me down the river
let's slide down hills and
nix all the pills
even if our heads have bad weather
i want to love you so much better

IV.
i keep reminding myself that i am the world
so that i could still kinda feel like i have you

V.
here i am, a west coast lady
still mastering the art of
hammer-ons and glamazons
taking up random jobs and distractions
and there you are -- stunning --
strumming
humming
as if everything is fine
i am that hunk of wood
strings attached
and you were the hands that could play me

VI.
these are the untold truths
of my burning twisting youth
love has sewn my mouth shut