I thought I could conform, wanting to become part of the pack. I dressed differently; closed my mouth more. I tried to be less caring yet more selfless hoping to become more desirable.
It didn't work.
I wore black. I abstained from interests in favor of theirs. I slept only with candles for warmth and bathed in ice water. I froze. I laughed at the idiocies protruded from their mouths, trying to fit in, but stay me. I was brainwashed. I ate kosher for a year and a day. I drank tea to bleach me inside. I prayed to Mother Earth and Father Sky for strength as the moon waxed, but was weakened when they turned away my heart at Witching Hour, and thought I would die from the cold.
I did what I thought was good, thinking blending wasn't a bad idea. But still deep inside me is the need to know: was adapting always like this?
These situations ****. If you've gone through this yourself, know you're not alone.