i've surprised myself and i've thought about it now and it's been put out in the world and i don't know how to escape its constant knocking on the hollow inside of my skull around my atrophied brain that is starved and parched a barren wasteland of rejection and inadequacy
we simply see the world differently but isn't that my entire life? being the one who is rocked to the core and feels an earthquake when it's just the quivers and shaking of my hands as i extend them towards you begging for you to take me and hide me from the truth that you won't come back to me that the pursuit of some professional dream an ethereal race towards a person you wish to be but is there room for me? do i fit into the little suburban box he sees for his future?
i manipulate but it's not what i intend how can my cataclysmic emotions be expressed and yet not interpreted as some demand the stomping foot of an insolent child unable to be placated until i get my way that's what you told me and no matter your denial those words are seared into my mind and even when they've healed and no longer ooze the agony of being this odious person the scars will linger and i will remember
i've considered life without you now
our priorities don't line up like obedient soldiers await orders to propel them into the future for us the future is a black hole all that matters to me being together i would live in a cardboard box and as long as i could lay down with you at night i could deal with anything
you are driven by materialism a salary matters more than me and somehow the distance between us doesn't seem to be a motivating factor in finding a place here a place with me how can you not feel that agony? if you loved me wouldn't you fight through rain sleet snow wind tornadoes hurricanes to get back to me i would wade through neck deep water i would run until my body collapsed i would throw myself on the fire to save you i would do anything and you can't be bothered to ever come back.