You "love" them but you're talking to several other people. You date someone, treat them like royalty as you are seeing someone behind their back using them as a ****** object or something to talk to when your number one is not around. You see them talking to another person and you see them as a threat to your relationship that you don't care much for in the first place, only you can fool around. The person you see behind their back isn't nearly attractive nor as fun as your first option yet you continue to waste time with both these people because you find it fun to be sneaky. Once you're secret lovers leave you for someone better you will find yourself alone in life, in an apartment at age 35, single, having a hard time looking for a date. We don't feel sorry for you!