You know you've been away for long when returning feels wrong when the rough road you left's a beautiful tarmac and the roadside lantana Kamara's someone's bed of lilacs you know it's been ages when you feel nostalgia turning pages when each bend you negotiate brings tears to your eyes for the skyline's too storied to have a view of the ranges so that in disappointment you take deep breaths and sighs you know an eternity has gone by since you set foot there when the hugs are a doubt for you wonder if folks still care when the cute little puppy you left is a scabby old ***** and all you can see are graves at the stead to the alleged old witch you realise time's past when every view matters so much so that you open your teary eyes without a twitch when the grass thatched homesteads are tatters next to mansions trapped betwixt the so called rich you tell the beautiful generation's gone when you ain't on foot when soon as you set foot of what was such a lively place tears of despondence cascade down your alien face when you don't know where those who survived relocated but can at least see tombstones in the distance suffocated by growing bushes, you try to get close but every plant scratches and you want a closer look much as every **** itches you know it's been eons when many gather like a scene of crime for they don't understand you're mourning for lost time for those who visited the great beyond in your absence young and the old attempting to speak English, renaissance you know it's been a while for unlike the days of the old only the youth show earnest concern, for they're the bold they who'll try to explain for the elderly the stranger you're for them old to realise you're one of their own back from a far you know you've been away for so long when what was a domicile is just a piece that couldn't be valued due to many a grave the revelations hurt yet are given in bits for none's that brave none's brave enough to relay your family's demise in chronology and luckily someone has a number you can call thanks to technology, your youngest sister, left a crying baby now married realising it's you her feelings are an oxymoron for she obviously sounds nonchalantly worried and out of words cause you left her nothing but your stolen crayon you know you've been away for so long when the moment you so much prayed for turns into a biting torment for soon as you walk out your car you become a shoulder to cry on implying that so much has happened while you were away yet you're too weakened by changes to keep at bay where are the rest? you can't help but wonder how a single decade could mean so much plunder you know you've been away for so long when you have a novel of sorrow one which reading could consume more than a tomorrow when you realise you went to the wrong place or right for you realise you're on your own childhood bed in the night the then soft spots feeling so hard while you twist and turn reminding you of the life you've endured whence you couldn't run you know you've beenΒ Β away for a while when you can hardly sleep but you have room to contemplate the gone decade laugh, wonder, remember but mostly weep when you wish you had listened when they said Arabian money wasn't the picture they painted you know you've been absent when you wish you could rewind to erase all those grotesque things they made you do when you want to move the world back to the unwounded you the one who wasn't sexually abused and ******* tainted to save you the excruciating and ugly details you only realise when deafening's the sound of hails when you loathe rather than treasure the rain because all it does is remind you of your pain when you can't stop for yourself feeling sorry wishing to speak out to the rest yet too ashamed to tell your story