The floral arrangements will be lovely when they lay me to rest. The mourners will be very somber and waiting to pay their respect. The casket will be lain open for all the world to see. Alas, life has finally gotten the better of me. There will be plenty of tissues for those who choose to weep and for those who snicker at my demise, there will be free drinks at my wake, but before anyone gets a sip or sheds a single tear. I will bid my own farewell as I eulogize myself. Attendance will be mandatory if you want to be in my will. I will not take a lot of time, just a few choice words will I have to say, but by the end of my own sermon, where I speak my mind. Some of those in attendance will be surprise and others will say that's just about right. So all I ask if a few moments of your time, then some of you will inherit my stuff and others can get drunk on my dime. For after I eulogize, myself, I want all to have a good time.