Amethyst (April)

Amethyst and evaporating Counting down the seven days before I disappear again; Dissolve into a shooting star And lose myself along the fractured horizon Bleeding white tea Drowning in debt and memory Elegant, apathetic, re-shattered Remembering. I pull the summer back up over my face Like white sheets so quietly in the morning Sunlight streams in The beams crosshatch our scavenged posters and prints The home we built ourselves Slowly etherized, erased Reduced to amethyst and onward. Stretch out the time and I will spend it gladly Budgeted and rationed beautifully One year boils down to seven days And here is how I count them out: Sitting on couches wrapped up in rainbow blankets, Throw pillows I chart these days on a map; Meticulous. One by one they follow each other in perfect order Like stupid wandering sheep Progressive Blinded and bleating bloody murder Numbered, they lull me to sleep Sweet seven of them These days I count in wine glasses I count them in hours and smiles and tears Every second of my battered year Counted like clouds on the spring lilac sky-scape Days counted down in popcorn kernels and ice cream cones In laughlines and scars, in lavender scones And showers and trips to the gym and dishes in the sink I count my days in vanilla candles and scratched records And papers and poems and midterms and paintings Polaroid photos and the deep breaths we take between moments I counted every moment But now it’s amethyst and over. Purple like the city skyline in the spring sunset light Jasmine, indigo, magenta And you and I Our apartment White walls we plastered in memory All the homes I never had blurred together Filtered through this glass prism And projected in progression Here is violet Here is vanishing rapidly With what velocity the end races towards us Another melting mauve goodbye to add to my resume of heartbreaks Strong scent of hot magnolias We lay maudlin in burgundy wine And purple rain. I sit hurting how I always do Mourning like death’s an opportunity Mourning like I’ve already moved on How it cuts me to go How it’d break me to stay This amethyst year so sharp and sparkling It scraped and stained me Left me shades of purple like our night sky shining With constellations overlapping Loved and loathed in suffocating lavender limelight The winds whisper only of how I adore you all I so adore you. This is who I am for seven days And just only seven Here we are gemstones, Dissipating salty starmatter Fleeting amethyst crystals Evaporating into oblivion.

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Written by

ariel-evangeline-baptista

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