some days I feel I'm too full of emotions for
the disconnect we share
physical bluntness leaves me empty
and often intrigues yearning for more
in the middle of the night,
pillow held tightly to my chest
I long for the romance that is being loved

some days it all comes back and hits me
full force, I am not strong enough to stand against it
I can’t close my eyes without feeling your hand
on the back of my head, forcing me
down down down
I often wish that phrase was only a metaphor
maybe that’s the source of my disconnect

some days I feel passion so deep
others I wake up cold and roll over
to pull the covers back over my head
the pain of it varies day to day
no day is the same, the anger fluctuates
I wonder if I’ll ever recover
until then,

I don’t know.