inevitably, every night,
as i sink in
to the comfort of a day complete
i imagine what it would be like
to fall tragically ill
to get hit by a car
to wake up unable to move

i play the scenarios out
like a play all in my head.
eventually i snap out
and the events stick
like memories

lying in my bed
every night,
i become so desperate
to feel anything
i wonder what it would be like
to die