some people are terrified
of how much they care,
and those are the people
who've never needed
a pill to sleep in the night,

i was never afraid of caring,
i take ambien just to
stop my racing mind from loving,

i care with my eyes closed
and my arms open,
and maybe that's why
i spend so much time
chain smoking with
shaky hands,

but i'd rather crawl
on my hands and knees,
bruised and beaten
by beating hearts,

than stand up straight
with protected skin
and nothing to say