There is no good time to fall in love.

There is no opportune moment for your heart to suddenly take notice of the world around you, and turn to hummingbird wings and breathless laughter. There is no good time for your world to suddenly start revolving in time with somebody else.

And when you fell in love with me, it was possibly the worst of times.

I was made of cracked edges, of cracked lips, of cracked glass. When you touched me, you came away with papercuts and red ribbons for your efforts.

When you fell in love with me, you tasted like springtime when we kissed. I wanted to love you back, believe me. But you can’t force a heart to wake up. It is not a gun to be pointed and fired. I wanted so badly to fall in love with you.

When you touched me, you handled hard bones and fine china. When I touched you, I felt soft flesh, tough muscle, hot veins. I felt a human. You felt an almost-person.

When you fell in love with me, I held out my arms, but could only reach so wide.
I’m sorry, I wanted to say. *This is all I am, right now.