I don't know what is wrong with me,
I cant stop thinking about it though,
about my brain,
what could be,
what can never be,
what I wish I will be,
what I wish I wasn't,
when will it end?

The constant train of thought,
its unwanted but persistent,
sometimes it makes me want to die,
to curl up in to a ball and hide,
to drift away within myself,
forever,

I put in my earphones,
allow the music to wash over me,
let it drown me,
so I can control what I hear,
so I can’t think,
but in class when I'm all alone,
and everyone is watching me,
I can’t sit still,
I can’t stop the thoughts,
so I leave,
I must run away from the,
What ifs?
Whens?
Whys?

but I can't do that so I sit,
and I hide,
behind a smile so big,
and a laugh so loud,
its easier than the attention,
easier than the questions,
even if every time i do this,
I loose myself,
But I'm okay.