In the movies this doesn’t happen.

The lovers don’t dissolve into nothing
after visits and good times and bad times and pet names and words like
safe
and
Soulmate
and

The One.

They don’t break up and
stay that way.

In the movies,
there’s unconditional love
and sometimes it’s tragic but
it’s always
unconditional,

But me?
I’m not the unconditional love
kind of grrl,
I’m only a grrl with

bad habits.

Pick my lip, my leg, pick my arm until I see red,
cut my arms up because I’m bored,
play games with my meds,
swipe my parents’ alcohol,
fall in love with
crazy grrls,
fall in love with

Impossibility.

-
I want to be able to Love forever but
wanting to talk to you
is only another bad habit,
only wanting another hit
to get the high before the fall.


See for me,
love is a high
and a


                                       crash.

There is no in between.

-
I want to be able to Love forever but
when I say I miss you
there is no feeling
when I say I want you
there is no feeling
when I say your name
there is no feeling.

I know now.
There are no soul mates.
There is no One.

(there is no one).