Philosophy will tell you that belief doesn’t equal truth.

That’s why belief in a religion doesn’t make its precepts true.

Knowing that, I guess I should have known better,

But I held to the time we agreed that my belief and faith made my religion real.

“Her god is real because she believes.”

“My god loves me because I love him.”

We smiled, and for a split second we both saw God,

But you saw YHWH, and I saw you.

Maybe I should have told you that.

Maybe I should have told me that.

Instead, I spoke to you in reverence, like a prayer,

And took your words as gospel.

Every time I touched you was a burnt offering in your name.

My belief and love was pure and true, but it didn’t change anything.

It didn’t make your love real.

I know that now; I’ve seen the proof.

I think I knew it all along.

So, I’ll return to my religion,

The god you saw will comfort me and love me.

He’ll never leave my side, so long as I believe it’s true.

I’ve not found anyone to disprove him yet.

Still, words on a page don’t compare to warm arms

Anymore than cheerful texts replace a smile.

I’ll make do.

Sometimes, though, a glimmer of hope slips through.

Sometimes, I wish my god was you.