I wish my heart wasn't still pounding over you and I wish I didn't still need the pain in my chest to be relieved by those **** pills.  I wish you didn't know the map to my body because I don't understand how you aren't here.. Why are you not back home yet? I wish my head would stop spinning.  Everything is always ******* spinning. Your touch is seeping into my veins... I swear I can still ******* feel it.  I wonder if you ever touch the veins in your wrists and accidentally think of me.  Our pictures are leaking through the walls and drowning the floor.  I can't help but replay those memories over and over again, especially when they are all around me.  Looking back, I've realized that I lost so much of myself I never even knew I had. I've loved you so loudly with the megaphone all the way up. The volume never goes down.  I once heard the skin is reborn every 7 years, but I swear to God I won't live a day without the remnants of your touch.  This is all I have now.  I can still feel your tongue on my thigh with every pill I take and I can't have that go away.  I'm addicted to you.  I'm the patient with lung cancer who can't quit smoking.  We will never burn out