It doesn't help when people say: all I can tell you is to get over it or not let them get to you.

I know that. I know I shouldn't let people get to me.

Don't you think I ******* know that?

But I can't block it out.

Believe me I wish I ******* could but I can't.

I drove by some light poles on a street at midnight tonight, and I thought about hitting them.

This isn't the first time that thought has popped into my head but this is the first time that I almost did it.

I thought about crashing my car so that maybe I could stop it all.

Maybe I could just stop feeling everything so ******* much.

What used to be a place where I felt safe and happy has now been burnt to the ground and is a place I don't feel like going back too.

Things that made me feel good are being ruined for me because of the environment I can't escape.

People I used to want to hug and talk to in the late hours of the night I now want to run and hide from so that I don't have to think about how badly they treated me and how I was stupid to forgive them.

I want to lay down and not wake up and have to face this stupid world and everything in it that is trying to rip me apart.

I have cried every day this week.

I have tried to ask for help from so many people.

No one really listened.

No one knew how to respond to me.

No one can help me.

I am alone and I can't handle it anymore.