The beast of
Self destruction
Relentlessly scrapes at my soul
Straining
Lunging
To awaken me
In the dawn hours

A psychotic
Furious
Raging bedfellow
Wraps around my neck
Pumps chemicals of panic
Through my body

Quaffing my energy
Leaving me pale
Weakened and empty

The beast stirs
As thoughts keep me awake
At 4.30am

I try to soothe its howls
With a sweeter song
Lull it back to sleep
Lest I be drawn
Into the skin of the beast
To rage with its fury
Ripping to shreds
Everything I have ever made
To furiously tear, bite, scratch, seethe
Hurt
Hurt
Hurt myself

Hurt others

Energy drains from my body
Into the scraps of what is left behind

Scraps
Of things
I once carefully built
Now, scattered on the floor

I ,weakened by outbursts
Have shrunk

But the beast
Grows larger