I wear pants under my trousers
A vest under my shirt
Put on trainers to go running
Use a plaster when it hurts

I walk along the pavement
Put my ******* out in bins
Dunk a biscuit in my coffee
Pick up my mobile when it rings

I wash myself with flannels
Go out for a bit of nosh
And if you're spouting nonsense
I'll say you're talking loads of tosh

When I'm knackered I need sleep
I pay the bill after a meal
And if someone's in recovery
It just means they need to heal

I use a rubber for corrections
And when life becomes a drag
I pour a glass of vino
And roll myself a ***

Is weird this common language
I'm still learning the translation
And I thank you for your patience
While I change the situation

To learn the proper lingo
Is now my only quest
So bare with the girl from Blighty
As she tries to do her best!

(C) Pixievic 2016