I'm in my bed,
And its 2am.
Once again
I'm awake.
How many nights
Must I see new day?
This is slowly killing me.
I don't know,
What should I do?
The thought
Of blades,
And pills,
And endless sleep.
Haunts my weary eyes.
How much longer
Can I survive?
I don't want to die
Or life this life.
I just want to feel free,
I just want to feel.
Something that's not...
Nothing...
I want to swallow,
Every pill I see.
And use my blade,
In my draw,
To let blood spill.

All of the thoughts are true.
Nothing is made up.
This is what I think at night!
And it scares me all the time!
I need help.
But I'm scarred to get it.
I just feel so lost.
With a sign telling me where to go right in my face.
But I just can't read it...