Falling

Falling
With a pair of broken wings and a pained smile on my face as I once again, put on a facade for you,
And wishing I hadn't
Cause putting on the mask of a brave man who thinks he can conquer the world only goes so far as taking that first step,
And I,
I haven't taken it
I've been floating too much in the so far away land of dreams, with galaxies at my finger tips thinking that the bright shining thing in my hands was hope
But it was only expectations
Wishes that were those oh so close but oh so far pots of gold that were just over the rainbow
Cause we all know that if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence we will do everything we can to get there
Not knowing that maybe everything is fine where we are now.

See I was once weightless
No need to worry about tomorrow cause today was what I was living for and the past didn't feel the need to stalk me all the time,
And it's all that it does,
It's in my sleep
My waking dreams
My moments of joy
My misery
The past is that one guy you've known your whole life but didn't realize that he knew you more than you knew yourself
My past has passed the line from staying in my closet to hiding under my bed,
Haunting me
I can hear the crackling of his bones
Trying to slowly take away my hope like a monster takes away a child's innocence
Their weightlessness
And the gravity of the situation is that gravity really only felt the need to fall onto my spine when I told myself,
Wait
I guess it misunderstood that for the word weight cause that's all I have on my shoulders now.
Dead weight that were once wings
So please,
Help me fly again,

Help,
Me,
Fly,
Because I now realize that I'm the only elephant in the room with wings
The one willing to admit he's afraid and still hide in his prison instead of escaping, and yet still hating being alone but unwilling to admit that fear is what controls me.
Stay awake,
That little voice that tickles like the wind like hope on a hot day
I'm trying to find the faults between the lines
Don't know where I'm going
No measure of time,
But i realize now that I see  this finger painted sky.
So every time I close my eyes
It's what I see
It's the way I find hope in this misery.
With a menagerie of feelings to try to control
I'm falling to fill this gaping hole, of emptiness,
Like the facsimile of what humanity was meant to be,
Like metal shells of empty trees
We are only trying to fill this empty God sized hole, of what life used to be
So what I used to be is only able to be free
If I can only stop gravity,
Stop the falling and expectations and turn them into realities
Turn life of eternal falling into a masterpiece
With a painted sky and this raging river of life beneath me
I can finally see that mask on my face is supposed to hide a pained smile.
But I'm not doing it for you,
I'm doing it to hide me,
But i realize now that hiding behind this mask is like trying to go against gravity I'll just let hope take over me.
So, thank you my friend,
You helped me fly, again.