Like every mislead person
in this world
I thought you made me happy
Or maybe you really did
I still remember that pure squeal that seemed to erupt
in me
the kind that you get
when on gigantic, overwhelming rides
in amusement parks
No, nothing else could explain
that internal squeal
not the dried fries
not the hostile hum of air-conditioning
Just you
despite how your chair
angled away from me
despite how busy you were
sipping your cola
making small talk to our friends
to notice my elbows skirt towards you
despite how much
how many times
I tried to deny to myself
that it was always you
Always.