As if summoned by the moon light
Snow covering the ground
I looked out my window that night
There you were, drunk
Drunk and motioning for me.

I remember the way you turned away, stopped
In your tracks, the moment I appeared
Red velvet jacket, long hair
Glistening free eyes
You couldn't even look at me.

You told me on your journey here
You thought of all the mean things
All the things that made you angry
That you wanted to say
But the moment you saw me
None of it mattered.

"I'm unhappy.  I'm not happy."
Your voice echoing through technological devices
While I hid in the corner of another man's bathroom
It was then I knew I had to see you.
"I ******* hate...I ******* hate talking to you."
"Why?"
"You know why."

You said.
A few hours later, I was the first to reach out
Kiss you on the lips
This afternoon I replayed the whole thing in my head
Allowing myself to befriend the way you haunt me
Day to day, but at least
At least I have the satisfying comfort of knowing
I'm always on your mind.

Sometimes I become so paranoid
Creating the worst fantasies in my mind
As my room mate and I casually carried two wedding dresses
Two new purchases, down the streets of Chicago
Actor guy just invited me over
I don't think I'll end up going
Tonight.

Theres this funny thing about the way my mind works
With you.
If I have it in my head, that its you I will see
If I even play with the idea of hanging out with you
I can't muster up the will power
To surround myself with
Other..
Distractions.

But I know, at the end of it all
As the credits are rolling
You said it so well that night
"You don't even get it."
You said.
"You don't even get it. Because I love you. I love you. And I just am still coping with not being that man for you."
You said.

And maybe I'm the room mate alone tonight
As I hear foot steps scurrying to go
Gain comfort from this or that
But there isn't a looming clock above my head
There aren't men disappearing
I'm not running out of time
Or beauty
Or love
Or wit
Or art
I am constantly evolving.