Today I’m happy. Ecstatic. Or as they used to say, ‘over the moon’. And rightly so. Why? Because I’ve finally figured out my ideal career and I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about it any soon.

It’s the kind of career of which I don’t have to worry about any flaw. I can even lose weight. I will never again have to worry about my hair, or  blemished skin, my thighs, the heat, or wearing anything on my feet. I don’t have to worry about being too this or being too that or that I’m growing too this and growing too that. All I have to do is -

Swim.

Yes, you've guessed correctly. I want to become a mermaid.

And not just any Ariel!

I want to swim to the depths of the ocean, with sea horses, colourful fish and tame sharks. Swim to the sunrise and sunset with a school of merry dolphins beneath a starry sky. Feel the rain splashing my already soaked hair and dye it too. Have a beautiful sea green tail and wear sea shells in my hair. Scare people away with my long, sharp nails and eerie tales. Steal precious items such as toothpicks from ships (while my tail morphs into twigs). Be surrounded by the colour blue and eat algae until my last peek-a-boo (and water some plants too).

I want to listen to the crushing waves and sing to the silver moon while I spit like a sailor (and swear like one too). I want to brush my hair with a fork and paint my nails through. I want to be surrounded by a rainbow – all colours too.  


Why don’t do such dreams come true?