Santa has got out his polishing cloth
giving the old sleigh a good rub down.
Drilling the reindeer with simple rules
to obey each law in each and every town.

Like dont shout to each other in the dead of night
keep conversation to a whisper if that
If the hooves look *****, close inspection needed
before landing on each roof use the special mat.

"He has a hope in hell" shouted Dancer, "a hope in hell"
I would have thought a smooth landing is called for.
The chimney is now out of question, since the weight gain
so we aim to shoot you at speed through the door.

"Getting the position correct in the sky hey old chaps"
agreed all the reindeer with a smile on each face.
"a fast good entry is what's needed, whizz him in!
With the right sack of toys going in the right place."

A disgruntled Santa knew they were correct
and he started to polish each and every hoof.
The reindeer offered Rudolph's nose to polish
so they could see where they were on each roof.

Like a beacon in the snow they giggled, a torch of red
Like a glow in the dark, a flashing beacon.
The rest of the reindeer suggested more like
an indication of how many mince pies he's eaten!

What with Santa half sloshed before even
half way round and moaning in the back.
And then there is Rudolph a bit pale by then
and then Santa starts being sick in the sack.

A nightmare they all knew what to do.
The call came, off they shot, they'd got what they need
A cheeky grin was had by all, they were in charge
A good well run team flying above us at speed.