Have you ever stayed awake at night 
Wondering if everything you’ve done 
Is to stay alive or die

Those nights when sleep seems futile 
And dreams are nightmarish 

Bringing up fake memories and wishes
Leaving you empty and speechless

I promise not to do anything rash, 

But these feelings are lurking

And my sadness is moving 

Trying to avoid waking up 

Cause you don’t know how you’ll feel tomorrow 

I like to smile in the mirror every once in awhile to remind myself

To make sure that when I fake it, it’s not too much or too little 

To make sure when it’s real, I can feel it