I don't know what I've been thinking.

Not sure why I've been acting
Like I don't exist.
I have missed
Every bit
Of my waking soul.
And yet,
I've put myself to bed
For too many nights too long.

When did I stop loving myself?
I can't remember how or when or why
Or if i tried
not to let this part of me die.
It could be all the times
I couldn't get the tears to dry.

All I know,
is I apologize.

Because it used to be real.
I want to get back to how I used to feel.

And honestly I have known all along.