Surrounded by my past
I wear it on my face all the time
Underneath a forced smile
I pin my cheeks up with something warm
And for moments
I find peace in complete solitude and silence
Noise feels invasive

The ups and downs are almost unbearable

I sit in a room I painted with beautiful words
But I don’t feel beautiful
For moments during the day
I feel recognizable
And then feel like a stranger again

Why did I even come home?

I avoid my mistakes like they are bombs about to explode
And I feel different every day….

Here come the dark clouds again.

I feel the tears starting again. And I don’t even know why anymore.