Every so often
I would just stare at our cat
just to check if she's breathing'
because I am afraid
it will suddenly stop.

For almost four years
never did I cease to believe in you
and our hope and dreams because
I trusted you
I loved you
You love me but
you suddenly stopped.

And so I observe
the rising and falling
of our cat's puny body
while she sleeps
I never wanted to leave things to fate
again.

Every night I lie awake and stare at
the making and becoming
of us in these old videos
while you probably sleep.
This melancholy and emptiness is something
I leave to fate.